Saturday, 10 September 2011

August 31st - All Hell Breaks Loose!


Well, all hell broke out today as a result of said weekend.  I am ashamed to say that I was most grateful about it, as at least someone was as upset about the abuse of power in here as I was.

I was telling my current favourite counsellor about it, Tina, and she could not believe it.  I appreciate Tina for the fact that she understands sarcasm and witticisms and that, because of this, she is easy to converse with.  Upon hearing the ‘tale of woe’ concerning the weekend, she lined up a meeting with the director of the house, and again, I reiterated the tale.  I was most grateful to find out that she was horrified with the goings on in the house, and the one thing that astounded me was how gracious she was.  She ended up talking to all three of the residents who were forced into servitude, and had us all write letters, which we all did. 

The look on the director’s face when I told her about the texting that was going on, while I was conversing with the counsellor, was nothing short of a ‘Kodak Moment’.  Her eyes went as big as saucers when I mentioned that particular grievance, and she took that as badly as I had.  Again, I felt gratitude.  It is not easy when you have lost EVERYTHING…Your houses, your rentals, your bank accounts, your job (because you have to remain under the radar) your family, your self-esteem, and then finally your dignity.   Tina told me today that the one thing that a woman should never be forced to lose is her dignity…I had never really thought about that before…The only thing that I thought that I still had in check was my morals, but I guess that dignity is still there, albeit by its fingernails.

Tina spent a lot of time with me today, and made me feel briefly like I was not alone.  I ended up spending the whole day in meetings, and by the end of the day, I had such a headache.  Visiting your demons is never easy…especially when said demons are expunged all in a matter of hours.  I spend a lot of time burying them, so when they are forced to resurface, it is not an articulate production. For instance, I was meeting with an ex- police officer who is mandated to educate us in the best way to hide.  I have been given the direct instruction of the police that are holding the file that I am to stay ‘off the grid”…period.  He listened to me, acting like a complete cop, and then not understanding that you cannot exactly retrieve the information mentally on command.  Like every cop before, he will not understand the severity of my situation until he reads the original file that has been compiled for court.  When he reads that, then like every other cop who did not believe me…I will receive the respect and help that I deserve.  I know that police are fed fish tales every day, and in a few days he will find out that I am fighting the ‘Lockeness monster’.  It has happened this way since February…why I delude myself into thinking that the results will be any different amazes me.  Either I am an optimist and I do not know it, or I am naive, or just plain stupid.  I think that I will stick with the optimist…it makes me feel better than the other two options do. 

Well, after politely venting about the police officer, and ranting that my attacker had a shoot- out with the Mexican cartel in North Dakota, that he had asked me to try and obtain a handgun, (which of course I never did), and that anyone can get refugee status in Canada, even when they sneak past the border, that I stared at Tina, and ran after the police officer to tell him!  See, counselling works!  At that point, now that I was getting him something to look into, he changed a bit.  My fish grew a few inches with that information, I think.

After that, I had a meeting with the legal advocate, who saw all of the documents on my child custody suit that I sold practically everything to get.  Those documents that were signed in August of last year are STILL not filed with the courts, and it is blatant misconduct of my husband’s lawyer to hold them hostage for the payment of his bill.  Currently because those documents are not filed, I am still married, I have joint custody with he who was nothing but a psychological and emotional terrorist, and he pays no child support, which was the purchase price of the sole custody that was agreed to.  I have, after giving up everything to repurchase my daughter through the court system… nothing.   Charlotte, who seems to be a very driven and ambitious individual, who also empathizes with my situation, the perfect advocate, is going to look into it to see what can be done.  I have to confess with you that martyrdom gets very old after a while, especially when it is only the child that is the loser in the end.

So, it was a very productive day.  I am very grateful to be here, and I am very grateful that places like this exist.  I know that in facilities like this, the residents are considered to be leeches on the system; even at one point, I was ignorant enough to believe that.   It is amazing what happens when your protective bubble is popped…you find out in all of your supposed wisdom, just how ignorant you really are.






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