Spending the evening with my ‘Mouse’ (my daughter) tonight. We have been furiously diarizing out our
thoughts and feelings, and both of us I think are mentally fatigued. I was way past fatigued a year and a half ago,
and I swear that this life is a ‘life sentence’, and not a life. Heavy is the head that wears the
crown…responsibility (big one), morality ( especially tough when you are the
only one that is executing this virtue), and ethically (same argument).
Why do the people who
try receive the most persecution…They say that GOD loves those the most who are
persecuted. He must absolutely adore
me!! All I have to say is…I have done my
best. If I have failed, I tried my
utmost to persevere. As long as ‘His
will be done’, that is what matters. All
I hope is that His will includes something positive for me and my daughter
other than martyrdom.
I am so tired,
mentally, physically, emotionally…there is nothing left. I am starting to feel like a sadist! God help me!!
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