Right now I am sitting in a beat up motel room in the middle of nowhere, trying to come to terms with my situation, and preparing for the inevitable. Monday, I have to swallow the pill of humility again...I have to go to the Women's shelter. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse (again), it did. How the mighty have fallen. After having multiple licenses to practice, four houses, top end cars, and more money than I could spend...reduced to one high end vehicle, one child, one cat, a suitcase, and two storage units...that's it.
Am I ever scared right now...Are they going to take my daughter? This will be my second venture out to the 'shelter' world...first time I was 15. I had to live in a Youth Emergency Shelter to escape my excessively abusive father, who could not deal with my mothers terminal illness, and needed someone to take it out on. After living with friends for a month, and then on the street with nothing but the clothes on my back, (I was not allowed to take anything with me from the house), the shelter was bliss in comparison to going home. That story turned out well in the end, but I have no idea how this will.
I stayed there until my 16th birthday, by which time I was able to join the work force. I defied all the odds...and I did really well. I have to say, of that I am proud.
I was going to commit suicide last month...I had completely given up, not to mention that the party who tried to kill me has been held in jail since February. He is on trial in December of this year, and if they do not deport him, he may finish the job. He told me exactly how he was going to do it too, complete with cutting me to pieces. Not looking forward to that if he is let out with time served. The words 'Justice System' is the biggest farce in modern day times. I had it all planned, and then a last minute intervention happened when I started securing items to different parties on the pretence of 'secured storage'...To be honest with you...that would be the preferred course of action, rather than to endure this further humiliation.
I was forced to sell my last house, because I could not make the payments anymore, and have not had ANY form of an income in three years...I was living off of assets. With my line of work, bankruptcy means you lose your license to practice, and I truthfully don't think my pride could have handled that either. Why am I not working? You will find out why soon when we get there, but I will give you this...due to my circumstances, I had a huge nervous breakdown. I have yet to recover from this...I have been enduring life, period. I have not had a cent in child support, no assistance from the government due to the high amount of assets, but no liquid cash. I have systematically sold off everything that I own. Now I have nowhere to go...all options are closed, or are too dangerous to my fragile mental state. What other options do I have?
No comments:
Post a Comment